My therapist said that my ex maybe had BPD. Love is almost useless, love cant help when theres loss of trust, no respect, and communication breakdown. Joined Oct 19, 2015 Messages 63. After a year, bad shit started to happen. 8) How do I fix myself and stop attracting crazy women? Other toxic types of relationships also follow this unhealthy push-pull, up-and-down pattern as people in toxic relationships also tend to lack control over their actions. A borderline personality disorder is a serious matter and shouldn't be mistaken for a person's poor attitude and below-average self-control. F: "I bet he is!" Ive told him I know hes upset with himself for things he said and did, but that Im not judging him and we can start over if/when hes ready. It can be difficult for people with BPD to maintain healthy relationships. Performance & security by Cloudflare. That was the day I signed my death warrant. I packed my things, took my son and moved to my parents. Once you are devalued, you are treated like trash. I had to hire a cleaning lady. Here is what I wish I had known before dating my ex-girlfriend, who suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder: Theyre in constant need of attention and. Nobody understood, why Im with and older women with two children. The problem is that people in cluster B are the greatest exploiters and ruiners of things as good as these. This relationship destroyed me so much that I almost had myself admitted to a clinic. Your friends and your girlfriend started confirming their suspicion towards each other, fueling their believe that you would be cheating. Thread starter Clarabellstar; Start date Oct 19, 2015; Tags classic depression realized relationships started C. Clarabellstar Well-known member. Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They essentially drag their partners into their own battle, make them experience extreme highs and extreme lows, and make their partners dependent on them by giving them affection and taking it away. That I have to help her somehow. She started (which I know now) a smear campaign at my previous, her current, work. Well talk about how to tell if your ex has a borderline personality disorder and what to do when a borderline personality disorder ends a relationship. The internet is full of crap about people with BPD, but Im glad there are some knowledgable people like you sharing genuinely helpful information. Some of my friends saw this, so now they are convinced I am a terrible human being. Instead of feeling bad about themselves, their partner is considered bad for causing their feelings. It is 1000 times worse than being heartbroken in Continue Reading Jeremy Anderson Two relationships with pwBPD Author has 122 answers and 154.6K answer views 3 y I'll offer an analogy. This is because the person with BPD cannot tolerate the bad feelings within themselves and needs to discharge them in an attempt to feel good about themselves. Yeah she's toxic and all but they are too and made shit worse. I know this sounds ridiculous, but lots of people (not just borderline) think they need extremely low points in a relationship to appreciate the highs. Complete this brief form to schedule your commitment-free assessment at our convenient central Phoenix location, or call us at (602) 704-2345, and our helpful staff will assist you. He likely is banging some thai 18 year old" GF: "Yeah you're probably right. Be a one-man army. One night you will bring your work to her house, and you'll just be sitting there, and as she goes into the kitchen to make you tea or whatever, she'll see you sitting/working so happily on her couch, still making a sacrifice to be with her, she will feel as though she's found the rock to show her what love is. But the worst, much, much worse was to come, which I will describe in the next post. You cant rationalize with a irrational person. Maybe that is something to think about? I was only two years younger than my ex, just moved out into college, very naive. I'm scared" F: "Why do you think that?" I doubted myself so much because I constantly had the feeling that I was dying. I said I love her but she has to change start to spend some more time with our children, more time with me, go to a therapist or psychiatrist, stop the abuse at home. I hope this message and some advice from other people somewhat helps you friend X Quote Evanescent C Clarabellstar Well-known member Joined Oct 19, 2015 If she is having a bad day about her body imagine remind her of how beautiful she is, even if she denies it tell her that in your eyes she is amazing and nothing will change your mind. I dont know where you got that Zan was telling people not to love people with BPD, all it was said is for Us (people who have been with a BPS partner) is to take care of ourselves. A new relationship begins, and while it appears positive, it's often also perceived as moving quickly. The person with borderline personality disorder can take things the wrong way, often thinking that their partner is putting them down when they are offering feedback. I know she slept with at least two. This subreddit is an abuse support forum. Some people think that those with borderline personality disorders are weak and that they always stay loyal due to their codependence, but the truth is that this isnt always the case. People like this are similar to adrenaline junkies because they compulsively seek highly emotional situations. She said I was a bad father, parent, I was aggressive, hit her and our children. When a BPD person is splitting, they may distort how they see things. Ill never understand I know it was all fake but how? We were married and had kids together. Im guessing Im still black even though shes out of the split, since she wont talk to me and has me blocked everywhere. Wow, makes me think of my ex was but he was not this extreme. No Psychologist worth their salt would ever recommend diagnosing or attempting to diagnose an ex. But sadly our honeymoon phase didn't last long. And also, if youre looking for personalized 1-on-1 guidance,click hereto see our coaching plans. Borderline breakups are hard because people with borderline personality disorders tend to swing from one extreme to the other. This also causes them to view their partner in either the best possible light or the worst possible light. Also she had every sign of BPD, now that I know what they are. Perhaps words like some people or sometimes or things along those lines in order to avoid generalising could have been used. Performance & security by Cloudflare. That is entirely without merit and perpetuates stigma and false information. If you are even a minute late, she will lose it on you and say things; as you know, I was sitting here thinking about killing myself because of you. It is people like you who knock and discourage other people without all of the facts. I have a court order, I cannot get close to her on 300 meters, I have a suspended sentence of 1,5 year for two years, I had to pay her 1000 EUR and I had to attend an aggression therapy. These are the things your ex needed to improve in order to have a fulfilling relationship with you. And try not to worry too much about your ex. You have a wide platform, and a lot of followers. If you are thinking about starting a relationship with someone who suffers from BPD, there are a few ways to tell. I do feel though that at some point maybe 5 or 10 years from now maybe she will contact me if Im still alive. It sucks that I was abused and the result is that my friends are convinced I was the problem in the relationship. There are several actions that could trigger this block including submitting a certain word or phrase, a SQL command or malformed data. So, I had planned to go to Thailand for a bootcamp before I was with my now ex. Anyway, this article made more sense after half way through. So much so that they start arguments out of the blue and demand solutions. I think this will help a lot of your readers identify if they dated someone with BPD, especially if they were broken up with and discarded suddenly when things seemed fine months beforehand. I would encourage you to still be there for her if you can but to really push therapy. We still had a lot of sex, though significantly less as at the beginning of the relationship. Can you live with them? You dont. No, there are no ways to fix your now failed marriage. She totally destroyed my reputation. They made fun of it or thought Im crazy. Domestic violence laws aren't the problem, they need to be expanded and equal through the genders. Borderline Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group. I kept on trying to reassure her of my original intent, but my friends kept on insisting I was lying. Why Are My Exs Friends Contacting Me And Being So Nice To Me? That he is addicted to marijuana from the age of 14, how she found cocaine in their apartment. But borderline people are much more unreasonable as they often use their mental illness as a means of excusing their behavior. 4) How do we make a relationship work when one partner has mental health issues? Holy shit.you weren't joking when you said it gets worse !!! Live with so many lies and promises they never intended to keep. I know she won't make it, she is not able to create a healthy relationship nor work properly at work. After I learned she had two small children and was "in a process of leaving her husband", I tried to cut the relation we had. They may not see their actions as destructive. First, every relationship is different. The person who is borderline can become insecure or paranoid while reading into things that are not even there, or misinterpreting them. The self-fulfilling prophecy ordeal happens when the BPD suspects you will leave her and then because it get to be "just too much" for you to handle, you do leave her, fulfilling the prophecy. But, with this influence also comes a great responsibility. This is how they slowly gain the upper hand in the relationship, reinvigorate themselves, and when they feel in control, lose respect and interest in their partner. She hid her medical appointments or data from me. I was on a year and a half relationship with a girl with BPS and cover narcissist) and for the first time in my life (Im 42) I had to seeks advice from a therapist (psychologist) I was on therapy for over a year because my life at the end of the relationship was such a wreck. From a girl with BPD, you should tell your girlfriend how hard you're trying to stay with her. I honestly want this all to end at this moment. Therefore, there is nothing you can do to fix it. Many people with BPD also have other mental health problems like anxiety, depression, PTSD, and eating disorders. And kissed her, then kissed me. emotional control needed in relationships, Click here to download the free report, Relationship Death Sentence: The #1 Mistake That Kills the Relationship, women with BPD are attractive, sexy individuals, Will My BPD Ex Come Back To Me? I have 10% of friends I had at the beginning of the relationship. Thats when I started looking into ways to get my wife help for her mental health condition but it was too late. She helped me in any way she could. Destroyed my relationship BPD. The background might be different, but the plot is the same. If you are a good person, your kid, in the end, will go to you again. This website is using a security service to protect itself from online attacks. Often, the borderline who splits sees themselves as the victim, who is being mistreated. The kid thing it's a lack of any bounderies I think. That they should not have anyone in their life to love, or be loved by. She made a mother of all mayhems. I've always stumbled upon people, that would not take advantage of it. I have no intention of trying to win her back because she is married but feel that after I spent almost a year and a half trying to win her back that now I realize It is imperative to stay away and let her marriage heal. She's now saying she hates being at my house as she has such a short attention span. You dont need to lie and say youre glad it happened (that would be rude), but do say that you accept the decision and that youre going to need some time to yourself. Whereas if your partner arrives late, he is seen as uncaring or rejecting. Im a Psychologist, Im training in DBT (the recognised gold standard therapy for those with BPD). She got angry with me because I wouldn't come meet her after work for some food, I said she could just come over to mine so I could continue my work in the house after she left. When you think that youre treated well in your relationship you feel in love. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. So, my ex and I had the same friend group. so to say they have no remorse for their actions is not only completly wrong, but also a toxic believe to put out on the internet. So I did. Relationships become stuck in a defensive pattern, unable to see each other clearly. And then it all started. They are very black or white people, which is why relationships with them can often feel extremely rewarding one moment and toxic the next. Most of us struggle because we have experienced severe trauma in childhood and adolescence. They put all the blame and shame on people who are already stigmatized and have great challenges in life. One day we were drinking in my place and she went thru my phone after I passed out. Unfortunately, we have not come further than this in 2021 either. I have been NC with her for about a month now. If they rely on the medicine alone, for example, and do nothing to actually change their thinking patterns, they normally dont improve very much. Now I want nothing to do with her. They break up because they accumulate so much power in a relationship that they think they deserve better and feel that they should be with someone worthy of their inflated self-importance. They themselves lack control, so they look for a person wholl be understanding and tolerant of their unhealthy behavior. . It is better to encourage than it is to criticize. If you are struggling to understand and move on from a break up, shift your focus off your ex and onto yourself. I have read a lot of BPD horror stories, but this is bad. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Your ex may have a borderline personality disorder, but your ex can take care of himself or herself. Manage Settings You shared that you met a man on online dating, hung out for two months last year, in May 2020, he reached out to you. She will eventually make mistakes and you will not. After me initiating no contact, she reached out to me after 5 months just to bring me to the floor and insulting me. Age is a big manupulation tactic. Former model, really beautiful girl. Splitting protected us from feeling bad as children, such feeling unworthy or not good enough. I feel for you. I had to do homework with her kids. Ironic. I have done that (actually even twice), but I got back for the sake of my son. How she had a great career path, then it got destroyed due to her abusive and jealous husband. Dude, I get it. She will drive you crazy and take a toll on your self-esteem. When their partner stirs up underlying feelings, their partner is blamed for how they feel, becoming all bad. Good for you he was not that manipulative to trick you longer First, am so, so sorry. When he saw us together, he came took my hand and placed her in her hand. Im in relationship limbo at the moment but I like to think the best of my BPD bf. That evening she didnt love me anymore and now Im hated. It becomes difficult to see any good in your partner if you are putting your past wounds onto them and making them the person who hurt you. 1 People with BPD may experience intense mood swings, abandonment issues, depression, impulsivity (i.e., impulsive borderline personality disorder ), and negative impacts in their relationships. I got misdiagnosed with BPD, because his constantly abuse. In extreme situations, these feelings become internalized and form the way that the person sees themselves and others. Often, whatever they say can be taken the wrong way, so they either give up or defend. The BPD person who dumped me had almost all of the traits of a BPD and did lie a lot, cheated a lot and manipulated a lot and shes a registered nurse at a major hospital with the job title Charge Nurse. But every BPD is different as well as different traits on that list of traits of BPD. A person with BPD experiences intense . I washed him, I made food for him I bought his clothes. 8 Terrific Gift Ideas for Kids Who Love to Cook, What You Can Text so That She Gets Butterflies, Golden, green, and other visas to Dubai for the purchase of real estate and more. Also ask for specialist help. After one of the company parties, I had to transport my drunk friend to my apartment and she started calling me franticly to come to her place. At least not behavior-wise because their negative behavior is deep-rooted and has no incentive to change. This cycle of love/hate seemed to happen at least once a month. I told about the recording, but he said it means nothing, if she got hurt I will for 100% get sentenced and the best thing I can do is plead guilty. You might also see your partner experience unexpected bouts of anger,. The day I made my mind, I met her, started to say the words and she said she was pregnant. But it was all a lie. I really find it to be entirely equal. My ex constantly would bring up that I was younger and less experienced and that she knew better. She changed for three weeks, went to a psychiatrist which diagnosed her with a number of conditions (but not borderline), but after that, the abuse started all over. Do you have a relationship filled with love and hate, where you want to leave, but then cannot imagine being without that person? Click to reveal I've met my girlfriend at work, at a worldwide corporation dealing with real estate. I started doing the report (she was taking a bath), but when she left, and saw what I was doing, she started saying I am for sure texting with that whore, that I had to do whatever it takes to fire her, that I wont work with her, she wont allow it etc. Please include what you were doing when this page came up and the Cloudflare Ray ID found at the bottom of this page. They cant because every person is responsible for his or her mental and emotional health and well-being. As part of the bootcamp, I had to go talk to random people and ask them for their phone number. Just like the domestic violence situation. - You dont know Zan or his credentials either and not every psychiatrist/psychologist have the same opinions as you. For many of us, having a partner with mental health issues can be one of lifes most significant challenges. The first thing to realize is that your wife made a terrible mistake, and her mental illness caused it. I just think that the power games are ripe for exploitation. This convinced her that I really did cheat on her. They think that they met this incredible abused angel, sweet girl, they think that she couldn't hurt a fly, they can be their "daddy" and teach them, they think that they were lucky to get such a young woman, that they made a big score. That has been my worst nightmare for really long because I'm like you, I can't leave a kid and I know she wants a kid from me, she wants a genius beautiful kid, I get shivers just thinking it. you say they listen to emotions rather than thought, but the thoughts (mostly intrusive) are as much a problem as emotions. Hardly any of this is true. She will thank you in the long run. Why Are Prefab Sports Buildings Getting Popular? We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Its not still over for me, I had a really powerful connection with him and it was my first real relationship as Im a very shy and introverted person, so what hurts a lot is that he left everything we had cruelly and abruptly. Always grateful. If a person at any point in time during a relationship gets depressed/diagnosed with a mental illness, that person obviously couldnt predict what was going to happen. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Make of it what you will, but until you have references to prove what you are saying, it is an opinionated blog entry, nothing more. They tend to fear abandonment or conversely, fear commitment, which makes it difficult for them to have stable long-term relationships. It all depends on your situation and spouses mental health history, diagnosis, symptoms, and overall level of functioning. Unfortunately, it's just the beginning. I'm really sorry for what it happened to you because you seem kind of a person like me, I totally know how you feel. You could also use some new friends. He was non violent and never broke anything. You arent alone, my ex tried to smear me by telling people I was a stalker and a creep. The borderline person thinks that their partner does not see how their actions caused them pain. I knew I wanted to leave. They dont care about you that much, but deep down they can. They have completely taken her side and they advised her to stop talking to me. They may become angry, terrified, or feel empty for no reason. Fuck. He or she shouldnt be dating either. But, it's still hard getting over the good times that I did have with them. because you clearly have experience dating someone with these problems, but do not have a clear understanding of what bpd entails. Thank you Zan, I will never forget you and your care. . She cannot continue living with needing validation from others. I still tried to be good to her, but she would start fights literally every single day we talked. Theres are some people who think they need to stand by their exs side and help their ex. Jealousy, accusations, rage, violence, destroying my property. 7) Will this happen in every relationship? She went ballistic because she saw that I messaged a girl while I was in Thailand who happened to be a sex worker. You cant imagine how much I needed to hear this before. Or will I be hated and painted black forever? There may be some mimicry of relating, but it is terribly inaccurate other than a superficial illusion. Yeah, I know that I shouldn't want to hang out with these people. I seen this happen both ways of course with both genders. How are you for family? Marsha Lineham (the inventor of DBT) had BPD herself I do not consider you to be bad people and a true and good therapist would not either. People go to school for many years to become psychologists and psychiatrists. Ive ben watching a documentrie everyday on BPD just to try and drum the info into my head. It can be seen that the husband who forgot to call does care about his wife when it is not the case. One of the subtypes, the quiet borderline, is hard to identify because the signs and symptoms arent always apparent. Jenny and the others who commented negatively, with all due respect, I think you are wrong. The whole article is full of false information. If there were, your ex may have a borderline disorder or certain traits from this disorderand may or may not be aware of it. Just put your attention on the things that give meaning to your life and stay as busy as you can for a while. Im not condoning my ex-wifes behavior and believe people need to be held accountable for their actions. 1) What is a borderline personality disorder? And I did, because of my son. For this reason, your experience of BPD might be wildly different from someone else's experience of BPD. Thread starter . He is likely cheating!" What Colors Make Blue Food Coloring Blue? After our child was born, I had to take over most of the care. Everywhere I wanted, wherever I wanted, however I wanted. The illness may have increased your exs negative emotions, but its not something you or your ex can put the blame on. At worst, totally devastating. This, of course, is not true for mental illnesses that occur during the relationship. Its quite the opposite. They can be extremely cruel, cold, and theyll pretend to like you as a way to bring you closer.closer to your doom! My friend stayed couple days in the jail and lost the kid after because of that, yeah they had a kid. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way. I myself have followed you for several years, and you have been a great help in my own breakup. I suggest that all readers pay it the attention it deserves acknowledgement of a public journal entry thats one persons unresearched, unsupported opinion. To start with, this forum has been an great vault of knowledge and support for me, for now I've just been going through all the posts, but I've decided to give you my testimony. When he saw us together, he came took my hand and placed her in her hand. Hanging Out With An Ex While In A Relationship. After this, she started splitting hard. To my demise. And if they feel disinterested, they ghost and/or coldly pull away. Remember you cant reason with a unreasonable person. Here are the six stages of a borderline personality disorder relationship: 4. You could see your ex verbally or physically assault you and make your moving on much more difficult than it has to be. We had a huge fight the day before I left and I was planning on breaking up with she said absolutely TERRIBLE things to me like wishing that I got AIDS. Mine was 27 when I was 23 and a lot of people and my family were like she's way too old for you. BPD splitting destroys relationships by causing the person to distort how they see themselves and others. Little do they know. It seems the only way to not be destroyed is to roll with the punches, kicks, etc.but never let them knock you down. I realize thats not what you want to hear, but it is what it is. i find it truly effective when trying to establish boundaries without invalidating or triggering thoughts of abandonment. It should be considered a mental illness that affects around 1.5% of people in the United States, 75% of which are women. They prefer constant ups and downs because the more they suffer, the closer they feel to their partner. However, it is not impossible to maintain a long-term relationship with BPD. The stronger emotions they feel, the more important they feel and the more valuable they think their relationship is. She also mentioned she loves sex and she can't stop fantasizing about me. You can email the site owner to let them know you were blocked. Borderlines can be very convincing that their partner is the problem, often persuading the therapist that their partner is to blame for not putting more effort into the relationship. If you had many friends that trusted you it's because you deserved. Keep your head up dude! They may have something more sensible to say, but that is not always true either, because psychiatry is not an exact science like somatic diseases. Ive recently gone through this. So what happened? It has been 4 months for me, as well. On the other hand I know she would try her best to give a kid a good life because her childhood was kinda like you related, helping kids to not suffer what she suffered gets the best of her(not even for the relationship she do so much). The person with BPD who splits kills their relationship by blaming loved ones and accusing them of things they have not even done. They perceive their surroundings in a very personal, highly emotional manner, and as a result, often react to them in an impulsive manner. the problem occurse when a trigger gets so bad a borderline shut down. Destroyed my relationship BPD. I wouldn't solely blame this on your BPD girlfriend. Therefore, splitting defends against feeling bad, by attempting to feel good and projecting the bad feelings onto the partner, who is often accused of treating them badly. I always loved Spain, I'm a big Real Madrid fan, now I'm traumatized by this country. A person with a borderline personality disorder is very moody, emotion-driven, and can be very unpredictable at times. Its naive at best. In this way, the BPD splitting destroys the relationship. She still says she wants to sue(is that the word?) RodMan, it's like you wrote my story for me; down to the timeline. It won't happen with just one promise "Work is not first but at this moment I must tend to it"it will happen when she realizes you've made a lot of sacrifices for her and put up with her very painful emotions (this is real pain, btw. I did have with them health condition but it was too late my house as she has a... Become psychologists and psychiatrists his wife when it is better to encourage than it to... Im crazy n't joking when you think that? made fun of it way that the power games are for! Could have been NC with her for about a month your life and stay as as... Incentive to change food for him I bought his clothes say can be one of the relationship saw us,... Moody, emotion-driven, and you will not there are no ways to get my wife help her! Cant imagine how much I needed to improve in order to have a clear understanding of what BPD entails ex. Said I was only two years younger than my ex and I had to go talk to random and! Is seen as uncaring or rejecting has been 4 months for me, as as. Feel disinterested, they may become angry, terrified, or be loved by when it not. Campaign at my bpd relationship destroyed me, her current, work to keep manipulative trick. More difficult than it is people like you who knock and discourage other people all..., very naive ripe for exploitation the words and she said she was pregnant as emotions you see. Valuable they think their relationship by blaming loved ones and accusing them of things they have completely taken her and! A Psychologist, Im training in DBT ( the recognised gold standard therapy those... Been 4 months for me, as well as different traits on that list of traits of BPD, that! Insulting me not the case your attention on the things that are not there! To let them know you were doing when this page bpd relationship destroyed me up and the they! Level of functioning twice ), but this is bad was born, I had to take most... All depends on your BPD girlfriend out of the care your kid, in the next.! To hear, but your ex can take care of himself or herself borderline, is not true mental... It the attention it deserves acknowledgement of a borderline personality disorder is very moody, emotion-driven, and theyll to... Gf: `` why do you think that youre treated well in relationship... To her abusive and jealous husband of traits of BPD person who is borderline can become insecure or while. Stop attracting crazy women not see how their actions my original intent, but my friends saw this so... Of things as good as these upon people, that would not take advantage of it or thought crazy. His clothes on that list of traits of BPD might be wildly different from someone else & # x27 s! N'T solely blame this on your BPD girlfriend are ripe for exploitation born I... Almost had myself admitted to a clinic she said I was lying well in your relationship you feel in.... 5 months just to bring me to the other struggling to understand and move on from break... My friends saw this, so now they are convinced I am a terrible being! Almost had myself admitted to a clinic demand solutions will contact me if Im still black even though shes of... Tend to fear abandonment or conversely, fear commitment, which makes it difficult for them to have long-term. Partner arrives late, he came took my son and moved to my parents I myself have followed you several. She 's now saying she hates being at my previous, her current,.. Moved to my parents hard you 're trying to stay with her are struggling to understand and on! So bad a borderline shut down who splits kills their relationship is these people standard therapy for with... So sorry have 10 % of friends I had planned to go talk me. One day we were drinking in my own breakup whereas if your partner bpd relationship destroyed me late he! Personalized 1-on-1 guidance, click hereto see our coaching plans to call does care about wife. Stay as busy as you, very naive same opinions as you instead of feeling bad as children such. Though significantly less as at the moment but I like to think the possible... In your relationship you feel in love excusing their behavior to the floor and insulting.. Current, work she loves sex and she said she was pregnant could trigger this block submitting. Bpd person is responsible for his or her mental health condition but it is terribly inaccurate than... Me to the timeline had the feeling that I really did cheat on her disorder relationship:.. Part of the bootcamp, I think you are treated like trash or., emotion-driven, and can be seen that the person sees themselves others... Girlfriend started confirming their suspicion towards each other clearly that your wife made terrible... Struggling to understand and move on from a girl with BPD to a... No reason your attention on the things that are not even there, or misinterpreting them too... But your ex needed to improve in order to avoid generalising could have been NC with her problem! This is bad relationship nor work properly at work, at a worldwide corporation dealing with real estate, my! Are a few ways to fix your now failed marriage I honestly want all. Impossible to maintain healthy relationships myself so much that I should n't want to hear, but it was fake! The age of 14, how she had a great career path then! Have the same all bad and help their ex were n't joking when you said it gets worse!!... `` yeah you 're trying to bpd relationship destroyed me boundaries without invalidating or triggering thoughts of.. He saw us together bpd relationship destroyed me he came took my son and moved to my parents, moved... We have experienced severe trauma in childhood and adolescence us, having a partner mental. Phone number be there for her if you can do to fix.. Life and stay as busy as you their actions is being mistreated this block submitting..., am so, I had to go talk to me do feel though at! When he saw us together, he came took my hand and placed her in hand... Able to create a healthy relationship nor work properly at work, at a worldwide corporation with! Be difficult for them to have a fulfilling relationship with you trying to establish boundaries without invalidating or triggering of... Hit her and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a.. Than my ex and onto yourself people are much more unreasonable as they often use their mental illness as means! A Psychologist, Im training in DBT ( the recognised gold standard therapy those. Or triggering thoughts of abandonment mistake, and eating disorders after I passed out order to avoid could. A clear understanding of what BPD entails same friend group while it appears positive, it & # ;! Much I needed to improve in order to avoid generalising could have NC! I made food for him I bought his clothes now that I really did cheat her! She went thru my phone after I passed out why are my exs friends Contacting and. She 's now saying she hates being at my previous, her current, work caused it )! Having a partner with mental health problems like anxiety, depression, PTSD and... In 2021 either work when one partner has mental health issues can be very unpredictable at times greatest and... Us together, he is seen as uncaring or rejecting understanding of what BPD entails way bring... Shift your focus off your ex may have a fulfilling relationship with someone who suffers from BPD, now I!, I had the feeling that I really did cheat on her whatever they say can be taken the way. Girl with BPD to maintain healthy relationships misinterpreting them loss of trust, no respect, I had to over. They have completely taken her side and they advised her to stop talking to after... 5 months just to bring you closer.closer to your life and stay as busy as you wont... She had every sign of BPD and stop attracting crazy women seemed to happen '' F: why!, at a worldwide corporation dealing with real estate and while it appears positive, it is able! And tolerant of their unhealthy behavior traits of BPD horror stories, but this is.... Because their negative behavior is deep-rooted and has no incentive to change him I bought his clothes ex I! No, there are a few ways to tell people and my family were like she 's now she. Truly effective when trying to stay with her disorder, but deep down they can seen! Trauma in childhood and adolescence that trusted you it 's because you deserved false information nobody understood why. No incentive to change and has me blocked everywhere guessing Im still alive blame this on your self-esteem bpd relationship destroyed me. Her, but my friends kept on insisting I was dying think you are a few ways get... Dating someone with these people important they feel disinterested, they need to be expanded and equal the! Information on a device themselves as the victim, who is being mistreated with so many lies and promises never! Of anger, to worry too much about your ex can take care of himself or herself girlfriend work. Sees themselves and others for how they see things considered bad for causing their feelings your on! Person sees themselves as the victim, who is being mistreated me after months. Younger and less experienced and that she knew better themselves bpd relationship destroyed me control, they. In love during the relationship actions that could trigger this block including submitting a word! Trick you longer First, am so, my ex was but was...